Can't believe I'd almost given up.... and then this comes along and completely changes my outlook on everything. I don't even think that's as hyperbolic as it seems. Ok, so over the last few years there's been lots of amazing records - but all by bands (most of whom I'd struggle to tell you the name of a single person in the band). Even this year there's been an amazing amount of brilliant records; First Aid Kit, The War On Drugs, Bruce Springsteen and Beach House are among my favourites. Last year Aidan Moffat probably released my favourite record with Bill Wells (and it was incredible) but still didn't live up to the way I used to think about musicians.
Then....
Well then the other day on a general wander through Spotify I stumble across Bill Fay's new record and decided, for no particular reason other than the fact he looked like an older version of Jarvis Cocker, that I would give it a listen. I had no idea he had released two pretty poorly received records in the 70's and then again a couple of years ago. So I went into this completely blind and no idea what to expect. Then it hit me. This was exactly what I'd been waiting for. When I was 22, bright eyed, about to sign a record deal and completely naive to what that would entail, I used to think all I ever wanted to be was Ian Curtis. He was my hero. I loved everything about him. One Spring night that year (2005) I was on the train alone and had about 15 pages left of his biography written by his wife, Deborah. Until that point I could see no wrong in anything he ever did, despite his many obvious flaws. As I worked my way through the last pages, consuming every word like it's the last, I started to feel completely overwhelmed by everything I'd read. When I finished the last sentence, before I had a chance to close the book over, there it was. A single tear had fallen on the page. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion at that point, much to the complete dismay of the girl across from me - who incidentally was pretty good looking, but I hadn't even noticed until that point. Why was I like this. A person I'd never met, spoken to and who hadn't even been alive during my lifetime. His story was pretty heartbreaking, especially when narrated by his widow, and it made me look at the direction my band were going in at that time. But most of all I think at that point I realised I had completely misplaced my adoration onto someone who had so many dreadful flaws. So as the sun set on the carriage and I got ready to get off the train, I think I lost a lot of hope in everything for a little while.
Recording albums, despite how amazing it is, makes you realise the conveyor belt nature of making music. The meticulous listening and playing then manifests itself in the way you listen to all music; and as much as I've loved so so much music since then, I always fall prey to the notion to think of the band in the studio going through the motions. This isn't always the case, of course, but it's always there and it's pretty hard to shake off when you've been part of that process. That's what it is, it's a process.
Then I listened to Bill Fay and immediately my heart broke for him. Here he was, 43 years since his first record with only a couple in between, and he's singing to me. I know he's singing directly to me, I can tell. From start to finish the record is impeccable. Hanging on to every word, each time he pauses my heart breaks a little more until he returns with another lyric.
Truth be told I've had something on my mind lately, that I won't talk about purely because there isn't another person in the world who knows what it is, but it's completely consumed me. Probably more than anything has ever consumed me in my life before, and it's made me doubt pretty much everything about myself. Until this happened I had serious reservations about whether or not I could write another album. My ideas were bad, my lyrics were worse and any sense of melody had completely deserted me. Any time I picked up my guitar I seemed to be attempting to write a Travis song; and that is never a good thing. Everything was dormant and there didn't seem to be anything I could do to alter that, no matter how hard I tried. Then 'it' happened and I felt like I'd just woken up from a creative coma. I now have absolutely no doubt I can write (or co-write) another album and I've also got no doubt it'll be better than anything I've ever written before. I guess sometime you need to go through a little heartbreak to get to where you want to be.
This awakening coincided with the first time I listened to Bill Fay and I now find it hard to imagine doing anything other than making music. How can you not be inspired by someone who waited 43 years to release his masterpiece? As I near the end of my 100th listen to this work of genius it really, really hits me. "Cosmic Concerto - Life Is People" is a track only someone who has had the pain of 43 years in the wilderness could produce.
I feel inspired and I feel ready to open up to a new record. Thanks Bill!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Heidelberg In The Sun
Thinking the other day about what my favourite touring memory has been and it always comes down to this day. May 2006 - this was our first real tour of Europe, so you can imagine how excited we were. Sun was splitting the sky and after a drive from Cologne in the morning we arrived in Heidelberg around lunch time. None of us had been before, but our tour manager Jim had assured us for days that this was going to be the best gig of the tour. The drive there consisted of him telling us about how beautifully scenic a place it is and tales of the Allies setting up a base there during WW2 as Hitler would never bomb such an idyllic setting. Truth be told... I was hungover and a little bit cynical of it all. All I could think about was getting to the hotel, dumping my bag and getting a beer somewhere to take the edge off things.
My first memory of Heidelberg is driving through the hills on the approach. I vividly remember listening to "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab as we drove past a castle and wound our way down towards the town, and I must admit, my cynicism was dissipating. First problem we had was that Jim hadn't booked us into a hotel yet, so we were dropped off at the venue (an arts centre down by the canal) while he went and tried to get us checked in somewhere. Heidelberg is a University town and truth be told there aren't a great deal of obvious hotels kicking around. So he had to dig deeper and eventually found us an apartment that could sleep all of us (albeit people sleeping on floors etc), but it was ideally located and a break from the norm. We got the call from Jim, we headed to meet him and checked into the apartment. I 'bagsied' a bed, stuck my bag on top of it and went on the hunt for a pint.
This wasn't to be the case. Tam (our manager) advised that we had to go to the venue to do our soundcheck. Bit of a nightmare, but I would get a beer over there. So we set up in the ampitheatre around 4pm and had the rest of the day to ourselves before the show that night. Out the back of the venue there was a little beer garden, which was absolutely perfect for the day. We raided the rider (which seemed to have a never ending supply of strong German beer) and sat there. A few people decided to go a wander but, as always seems to be the case, me and Ryan stayed behind to have a beer and talk nonsense for a while. We ploughed our way through a good few (too many) of the beers before the rest returned proclaiming Heidelberg to be the best place on the planet. We had a day off the next day, so that would be my time to investigate whether or not that was true. The record company guys from Germany came and met us and treated us to a nice meal at a restaurant along the road. The menu was entirely in German so there was a bit of guesswork involved, but can you ever go wrong with German meat?
The show itself is all a bit hazy; not because I was particularly drunk, it's just a long time ago. I do, however, remember it being very good and like any show we've ever done in Germany we got a great reception. After the show Paul and Gary did their usual sprint to the merch stand (presumably to chat to German girls) while me and Ryan returned to the rider to see what was left. Yay!! It had been topped up again. So we sat out the back again and sampled even more of the German beers, this time without a gig to worry about.
The hotel was within walking distance so we headed back in dribs and drabs. My next vivid memory is of me, Ryan and Jim walking along the canal back to the hotel taking pictures, singing and generally acting like drunken buffoons on holiday. We did have a day off the next day, but we were leaving Heidelberg around 5pm to drive to Munich, which was going to be a very long drive. Worries about being hungover for that were well and truly gone for the moment though and we enjoyed our walk home which culminated in a complete collapse when we got back to the hotel.
The following morning I dragged myself out of bed and decided I had to go and explore this beautiful place. I was feeling fuzzy and pretty dreadful if truth be told, but I could shake it off. I made it outside and the heat was actually hurting me - and it was only 10am!! First thing required was breakfast, so I found a cafe and tried to bring myself back to life. On tour I generally like to spend a bit of time myself... it can be quite intense travelling with people all the time. I kept a journal at that time, but I won't include the entry from that day in here. I remember it was all very depressing about wanting to move there and really, really missing someone. So after a bit of wandering around I headed back to meet everyone else just as they were getting themselves up for the day.
It was a Sunday so the town was very busy, with everyone gravitating towards the canal. We headed there and planked ourselves on the grass embankment and watched as people sailed past us on pedalos. Do you sail a pedalo? Maybe that's not the correct term, but they were on pedalos anyway. I have plenty of pictures from that day somewhere but I can't find them. I'm sure they'll turn up sometime. After much humming and hawing we decided we would have a shot on the pedalos. There were only 5 of us there at the time so we split into a 2 and a 3 and decided that a race was the best way to spend time on a pedalo. Unfortunately I was paired up with Laura who thought she was out for a relaxing sail. Gary, Paul and Ryan in the other pedalo had the extra weight so we had a chance, I thought. Nope! No chance! Laura just sat there and took in the scenery, while I burst a gut to get ahead. It would never happen, so I did what any man would do in my position... I barged into them. Hence a whistle from the side of the canal and my first warning. 5 minutes later, as I stood up in my pedalo (can't even really remember what I was doing, but I think I was trying to jump onto the other pedalo to capsize it) and another whistle sounds. I'm OUT! Called over to the mainland and my deposit is a goner. Oh well, it was fun anyway.
After that we went for a few beers, a wander around some very cool vintage shops and waited for the call to tell us we were back on the road for a monster drive to Munich.
It was all very fun, if a little fleeting. I decided to go back to Heidelberg in the Winter the following year and it re-affirmed how much I love the place. It's got absolutely everything I like about German life. I need to go back! I've refused thus far to re-read the journal entry I made when I was there because I'm pretty certain it would depress me greatly, but I should one day. Maybe I'll just move there for good actually.
My first memory of Heidelberg is driving through the hills on the approach. I vividly remember listening to "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab as we drove past a castle and wound our way down towards the town, and I must admit, my cynicism was dissipating. First problem we had was that Jim hadn't booked us into a hotel yet, so we were dropped off at the venue (an arts centre down by the canal) while he went and tried to get us checked in somewhere. Heidelberg is a University town and truth be told there aren't a great deal of obvious hotels kicking around. So he had to dig deeper and eventually found us an apartment that could sleep all of us (albeit people sleeping on floors etc), but it was ideally located and a break from the norm. We got the call from Jim, we headed to meet him and checked into the apartment. I 'bagsied' a bed, stuck my bag on top of it and went on the hunt for a pint.
This wasn't to be the case. Tam (our manager) advised that we had to go to the venue to do our soundcheck. Bit of a nightmare, but I would get a beer over there. So we set up in the ampitheatre around 4pm and had the rest of the day to ourselves before the show that night. Out the back of the venue there was a little beer garden, which was absolutely perfect for the day. We raided the rider (which seemed to have a never ending supply of strong German beer) and sat there. A few people decided to go a wander but, as always seems to be the case, me and Ryan stayed behind to have a beer and talk nonsense for a while. We ploughed our way through a good few (too many) of the beers before the rest returned proclaiming Heidelberg to be the best place on the planet. We had a day off the next day, so that would be my time to investigate whether or not that was true. The record company guys from Germany came and met us and treated us to a nice meal at a restaurant along the road. The menu was entirely in German so there was a bit of guesswork involved, but can you ever go wrong with German meat?
The show itself is all a bit hazy; not because I was particularly drunk, it's just a long time ago. I do, however, remember it being very good and like any show we've ever done in Germany we got a great reception. After the show Paul and Gary did their usual sprint to the merch stand (presumably to chat to German girls) while me and Ryan returned to the rider to see what was left. Yay!! It had been topped up again. So we sat out the back again and sampled even more of the German beers, this time without a gig to worry about.
The hotel was within walking distance so we headed back in dribs and drabs. My next vivid memory is of me, Ryan and Jim walking along the canal back to the hotel taking pictures, singing and generally acting like drunken buffoons on holiday. We did have a day off the next day, but we were leaving Heidelberg around 5pm to drive to Munich, which was going to be a very long drive. Worries about being hungover for that were well and truly gone for the moment though and we enjoyed our walk home which culminated in a complete collapse when we got back to the hotel.
The following morning I dragged myself out of bed and decided I had to go and explore this beautiful place. I was feeling fuzzy and pretty dreadful if truth be told, but I could shake it off. I made it outside and the heat was actually hurting me - and it was only 10am!! First thing required was breakfast, so I found a cafe and tried to bring myself back to life. On tour I generally like to spend a bit of time myself... it can be quite intense travelling with people all the time. I kept a journal at that time, but I won't include the entry from that day in here. I remember it was all very depressing about wanting to move there and really, really missing someone. So after a bit of wandering around I headed back to meet everyone else just as they were getting themselves up for the day.
It was a Sunday so the town was very busy, with everyone gravitating towards the canal. We headed there and planked ourselves on the grass embankment and watched as people sailed past us on pedalos. Do you sail a pedalo? Maybe that's not the correct term, but they were on pedalos anyway. I have plenty of pictures from that day somewhere but I can't find them. I'm sure they'll turn up sometime. After much humming and hawing we decided we would have a shot on the pedalos. There were only 5 of us there at the time so we split into a 2 and a 3 and decided that a race was the best way to spend time on a pedalo. Unfortunately I was paired up with Laura who thought she was out for a relaxing sail. Gary, Paul and Ryan in the other pedalo had the extra weight so we had a chance, I thought. Nope! No chance! Laura just sat there and took in the scenery, while I burst a gut to get ahead. It would never happen, so I did what any man would do in my position... I barged into them. Hence a whistle from the side of the canal and my first warning. 5 minutes later, as I stood up in my pedalo (can't even really remember what I was doing, but I think I was trying to jump onto the other pedalo to capsize it) and another whistle sounds. I'm OUT! Called over to the mainland and my deposit is a goner. Oh well, it was fun anyway.
After that we went for a few beers, a wander around some very cool vintage shops and waited for the call to tell us we were back on the road for a monster drive to Munich.
It was all very fun, if a little fleeting. I decided to go back to Heidelberg in the Winter the following year and it re-affirmed how much I love the place. It's got absolutely everything I like about German life. I need to go back! I've refused thus far to re-read the journal entry I made when I was there because I'm pretty certain it would depress me greatly, but I should one day. Maybe I'll just move there for good actually.
Monday, February 13, 2012
A Heart Is But A Bloody Organ...
.. so that's that one put to bed. Hallmark and other beneficiaries of Valentines Day will of course tell you different, but take it from me... it's a pile of pish. I think you love with your brain. Sense over sentimentality.
The single worst Valentines Day present I received was in 1999. My high school sweetheart, who clearly didn't listen to a single word that came out my mouth at any point decided that an ideal present for me would be a box of horrific truffles (if I had waited until now to eat them they may have actually tasted better) and the CD single of some Oasis song of the time. That's not a typo, it wasn't meant to say album.. she did indeed buy me a fucking single! Well, needless to say she was single not too long after that. I guess the worst thing about her was the fact she kissed with her eyes open! Really freaked me out on numerous occasions, when (as a young schoolboy) I would have a wee peak to see what was happening during frantic kissing sessions and there was an eye staring right at me! It always reminded me of a horror movie when the innocent protagonist is, annoyingly, blaze and fucking about in a total moment of danger and he looks into a mirror and there, right behind him, is a "baddy" with big eyes staring at him. Maybe not quite as bad as that, but it perturbed me enough to note it.... and tell all the school about this stingy girl who buys you cheap truffles, CD singles and kisses whilst trying to read your mind! Anyway, I wish her well and hope she has a splendid Valentines tomorrow however she opts to spend it.
Second worst Valentines experience was probably 2 years later as a singleton at University I headed out with no intention of chasing tail. After an afternoon in the pub, and way too much to drink I ended up in the Garage. I was ruffled and broken. I should have went home (a long time ago). But there I was, in all my youthful arrogance, in the middle of a night out trying to brave face the fact I had been sick on my jacket! No-one appeared to notice, so I pressed on with the job in hand - getting through a full night! A short while later I was approached by a girl; wouldn't even be worthwhile having a guess at her name, and her opening gambit was to the point. "Do you have a girlfriend?". Fuck sake! Doesn't give you much time to survey how you should be answering that question. I slurred honestly that I was indeed single, so she offered to buy me a drink. Already coming across a tad desperate but fair play to her. At this point I had lost everyone I was out with so she was really my company for the night. 10 minutes later! 10 short, short minutes... 600 fucking seconds later she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place! Fucking hell hen! Does your mother know you behave like this?? Anyway, I said yes! But I had to get rid of the sick on my jacket. So, rather smartly I thought, I told her I had to head home to let my flatmate in and I would meet her later. I gave her my number and everything was arranged. Waking up the following morning in my own flat, my sick coated jacket still on my back I grabbed my mobile phone to check the time. 11am in the morning. Missed calls from girl - 48! My God! She spent more time trying to phone me than we did talking before she gave me the home-time offer! Bullet dodged, but it was still a fairly depressing Valentines Day. Again, I wish her all the best tomorrow aswell. Though... a girl of that calibre need not rely on luck or any of my well wishes!
The single worst Valentines Day present I received was in 1999. My high school sweetheart, who clearly didn't listen to a single word that came out my mouth at any point decided that an ideal present for me would be a box of horrific truffles (if I had waited until now to eat them they may have actually tasted better) and the CD single of some Oasis song of the time. That's not a typo, it wasn't meant to say album.. she did indeed buy me a fucking single! Well, needless to say she was single not too long after that. I guess the worst thing about her was the fact she kissed with her eyes open! Really freaked me out on numerous occasions, when (as a young schoolboy) I would have a wee peak to see what was happening during frantic kissing sessions and there was an eye staring right at me! It always reminded me of a horror movie when the innocent protagonist is, annoyingly, blaze and fucking about in a total moment of danger and he looks into a mirror and there, right behind him, is a "baddy" with big eyes staring at him. Maybe not quite as bad as that, but it perturbed me enough to note it.... and tell all the school about this stingy girl who buys you cheap truffles, CD singles and kisses whilst trying to read your mind! Anyway, I wish her well and hope she has a splendid Valentines tomorrow however she opts to spend it.
Second worst Valentines experience was probably 2 years later as a singleton at University I headed out with no intention of chasing tail. After an afternoon in the pub, and way too much to drink I ended up in the Garage. I was ruffled and broken. I should have went home (a long time ago). But there I was, in all my youthful arrogance, in the middle of a night out trying to brave face the fact I had been sick on my jacket! No-one appeared to notice, so I pressed on with the job in hand - getting through a full night! A short while later I was approached by a girl; wouldn't even be worthwhile having a guess at her name, and her opening gambit was to the point. "Do you have a girlfriend?". Fuck sake! Doesn't give you much time to survey how you should be answering that question. I slurred honestly that I was indeed single, so she offered to buy me a drink. Already coming across a tad desperate but fair play to her. At this point I had lost everyone I was out with so she was really my company for the night. 10 minutes later! 10 short, short minutes... 600 fucking seconds later she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place! Fucking hell hen! Does your mother know you behave like this?? Anyway, I said yes! But I had to get rid of the sick on my jacket. So, rather smartly I thought, I told her I had to head home to let my flatmate in and I would meet her later. I gave her my number and everything was arranged. Waking up the following morning in my own flat, my sick coated jacket still on my back I grabbed my mobile phone to check the time. 11am in the morning. Missed calls from girl - 48! My God! She spent more time trying to phone me than we did talking before she gave me the home-time offer! Bullet dodged, but it was still a fairly depressing Valentines Day. Again, I wish her all the best tomorrow aswell. Though... a girl of that calibre need not rely on luck or any of my well wishes!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Don't Stop 'til We Get to Greenock
Part of me would love to have an uber cynical blog that frowned and scowled at everything possible, but the true fact is that would be boring. So in true end of year fashion this is my top songs of 2011... stick them on a playlist while I bore you....
So, I ask questions.. that's what I do. I ask, and I ask, and I ask. Until there's nothing else to ask. Maybe I ask and analyse until the Nth degree or maybe beyond that. What is beyond that? The Oth degree? Where did the Nth part come from?? Anyway, I like to ask questions and I've realised lately that answers are pretty unfulfilling. Even the most concise of answers is pretty bad, it draws a line under something. It's over. If there's room for another question, I like to ask it; much to the annoyance of people round about me. So anyway, not sure where I was going with that... Yes... Time and Space. Shit! That's some questionable stuff.
If something is a week away, and I'm focused on it, my way of defining how quickly it will come is to look back a week and relate the time elapsed to how quickly it will come. Maybe everyone does that? I don't really believe in regimented time - I'm not much of a modernist. I've got a couple of songs written about this sort of thing, maybe they don't make sense but it makes sense to me. Yeah it makes sense and it's a great way for proverbially wishing your life away! A great and fun task for anyone to get involved in.
Now go splash in those puddles and don't worry about getting home! It'll happen when it happens!
It never rains but it pours. Hmm, shite phrase and 100% not true. However, one thing I noticed recently is that the worst thing about getting caught out in the rain is actually getting home (or getting to wherever your heading). Walking in the rain is actually pretty enjoyable, the worst part is arriving home and having to then deal with the soaking clothes which are stuck to you. There is, of course, no way to combat this unless you walk until the rain has stopped and you have suitably dried - but that's just not practical! Why am I talking about walking in the rain? Fuck knows, I don't really have a point. It's just something I noticed the other day when puddle hopping. I upped the pace to get home, only then to realise that the worst part was ahead of me. I should have embraced the rain and tried to enjoy the walking part.
So, I ask questions.. that's what I do. I ask, and I ask, and I ask. Until there's nothing else to ask. Maybe I ask and analyse until the Nth degree or maybe beyond that. What is beyond that? The Oth degree? Where did the Nth part come from?? Anyway, I like to ask questions and I've realised lately that answers are pretty unfulfilling. Even the most concise of answers is pretty bad, it draws a line under something. It's over. If there's room for another question, I like to ask it; much to the annoyance of people round about me. So anyway, not sure where I was going with that... Yes... Time and Space. Shit! That's some questionable stuff.
If something is a week away, and I'm focused on it, my way of defining how quickly it will come is to look back a week and relate the time elapsed to how quickly it will come. Maybe everyone does that? I don't really believe in regimented time - I'm not much of a modernist. I've got a couple of songs written about this sort of thing, maybe they don't make sense but it makes sense to me. Yeah it makes sense and it's a great way for proverbially wishing your life away! A great and fun task for anyone to get involved in.
Now go splash in those puddles and don't worry about getting home! It'll happen when it happens!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
All Things Must Pass
Is it properly possible to re-live something? Even fleetingly? Or are each individual emotions completely unique and never to be rediscovered. Ok, that was a pretty shite start here and exactly the type of thing I didn't want to start this but it's down now and I'm in serious danger of wearing out my backspace key.
Things I've learned recently number 1. I've probably seen my favourite film and heard my favourite song by now. It's looking more and more unlikely that something will grab me the way things have in the past. Lists of my favourite songs (which I tend to compile every few months) are becoming more and more familiar and the task of a song breaking into this elite group is becoming harder. I reserve the right (and really hope) to be proven wrong on this.
Things I've learned recently number 2. I will probably go to Tesco (or some other store of similar ilk) at least once a week for the rest of my life. How deeply depressing! I tried in vain to avoid Tesco for a while, but eventually I was pulled in by it. Shit, I've mentioned shopping on my first post. Grocery shopping no less. However, if I can cut down on the length of time it takes me to get round Tesco by 15 minutes I will save myself 260 hours over the next 20 years. Thats 10 days of my life saved by moving that little bit quicker and avoiding the slow trolley pushers as much as possible. Is that right? Maths was never my strong point!
Think how much better a chance I will have of disproving number 1 if I get to grips with number 2. In saying that, I generally listen to my ipod in Tesco so maybe they go hand-in-hand.
Ok, so back to George Harrison and his horrible thought that indeed 'all things must pass'. Is this right? Surely I still feel the same as I did 5 minutes ago, or is that still classified as the same moment? Fuck, I've asked too many questions now. Who am I to question a Beatle, but I think some emotions can be re-occurring. For instance, if I listen to 'Friday I'm in Love' by The Cure it always takes me back to the first time I heard it. Hmm, I'm disproving myself I think. Shit! I remember the first time I heard that song very vividly and I was excited and happy and probably dancing about my bedroom like a fanny hoping no-one would come in. When I listen to it now I merely smile and think back to then with a hint of depression coating my enjoyment of the song. Do I still like this song? Or do I just like the memories of where I was when I first heard it. I don't think I even listen to it properly now. It just passes me by before I've had a chance to listen to it. Did I ever like it, or did I just like dancing in my room?? No, I definitely did like it and probably still do. Hard to tell though now.
Well maybe George is right, all things must indeed pass, but that's not to say far better things will still re-emerge. I feel the important thing to do (and this is very hard) is to register in your brain that your enjoying yourself while it's happening. That way you can never regret that a good time merely passed you by without you noticing... and it probably makes the memory fonder. You can relate to it easier and with yourself at that moment in time.
Right, my first blog is done and I'm confident its pish but thats fine. I like crappy things anyway. I fully expect to revisit this in about 6 months time and cringe but I won't delete it because its a snapshot and its a moment (albeit a rubbishy one) that has now..... passed!
Things I've learned recently number 1. I've probably seen my favourite film and heard my favourite song by now. It's looking more and more unlikely that something will grab me the way things have in the past. Lists of my favourite songs (which I tend to compile every few months) are becoming more and more familiar and the task of a song breaking into this elite group is becoming harder. I reserve the right (and really hope) to be proven wrong on this.
Things I've learned recently number 2. I will probably go to Tesco (or some other store of similar ilk) at least once a week for the rest of my life. How deeply depressing! I tried in vain to avoid Tesco for a while, but eventually I was pulled in by it. Shit, I've mentioned shopping on my first post. Grocery shopping no less. However, if I can cut down on the length of time it takes me to get round Tesco by 15 minutes I will save myself 260 hours over the next 20 years. Thats 10 days of my life saved by moving that little bit quicker and avoiding the slow trolley pushers as much as possible. Is that right? Maths was never my strong point!
Think how much better a chance I will have of disproving number 1 if I get to grips with number 2. In saying that, I generally listen to my ipod in Tesco so maybe they go hand-in-hand.
Ok, so back to George Harrison and his horrible thought that indeed 'all things must pass'. Is this right? Surely I still feel the same as I did 5 minutes ago, or is that still classified as the same moment? Fuck, I've asked too many questions now. Who am I to question a Beatle, but I think some emotions can be re-occurring. For instance, if I listen to 'Friday I'm in Love' by The Cure it always takes me back to the first time I heard it. Hmm, I'm disproving myself I think. Shit! I remember the first time I heard that song very vividly and I was excited and happy and probably dancing about my bedroom like a fanny hoping no-one would come in. When I listen to it now I merely smile and think back to then with a hint of depression coating my enjoyment of the song. Do I still like this song? Or do I just like the memories of where I was when I first heard it. I don't think I even listen to it properly now. It just passes me by before I've had a chance to listen to it. Did I ever like it, or did I just like dancing in my room?? No, I definitely did like it and probably still do. Hard to tell though now.
Well maybe George is right, all things must indeed pass, but that's not to say far better things will still re-emerge. I feel the important thing to do (and this is very hard) is to register in your brain that your enjoying yourself while it's happening. That way you can never regret that a good time merely passed you by without you noticing... and it probably makes the memory fonder. You can relate to it easier and with yourself at that moment in time.
Right, my first blog is done and I'm confident its pish but thats fine. I like crappy things anyway. I fully expect to revisit this in about 6 months time and cringe but I won't delete it because its a snapshot and its a moment (albeit a rubbishy one) that has now..... passed!
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